The New Cavemen

When President Kennedy was shot, it was a clear fracture in recorded human history. Everyone remembered that moment; where they were, who they were with, what they were thinking and feeling. There had never been an event like that before, and nobody anticipated anything would eclipse it – until nearly 38 years later.

There is one critical difference between these two events; one sickening, subconscious collective thought that makes people even more uncomfortable than the grotesque pornography of the imagery associated with these tragedies – we are all responsible for 9/11. Please ignore the intentional “shock and awe” of that statement, strip away what you believe or assume to know of these events, and continue reading.

When Kennedy took office, it was a different world. Globalization and the associated instant gratification of modern life had not yet taken over. The dark clouds of slavery and two world wars had lifted, the prevailing optimism and ingenuity of the 1950’s had left Americans patriotic and proud of their way of life, and the seeds of distrust and cynicism had not yet taken hold in the populace. The violent civil rights movement, the Vietnam War, Watergate and other ensuing events were unwritten stories awaiting their place in our history.

But just 3 days before Kennedy’s inauguration, a solemn, prescient foreshadowing came in the form of Dwight D. Eisenhower’s inspiring farewell address. He cautioned against our growing dependence on the “military-industrial complex”, an addiction that we have only become more dependent on over time. However, that is only part of the picture. An even more terrifying warning came half a decade earlier, when M. King Hubbert foretold of the concept of “peak oil”, something that remains a mystery to Americans today, a half century later, despite numerous growing signs of its effects and its crucial importance to our survival. Going back further, more than a half century before Kennedy’s time, Henry Adams could see the writing on the wall.

How much we choose to understand our dependence on oil in our everyday lives will directly impact our ability to evolve beyond a mere footnote in human history. When crude oil is refined, it can be transformed into a wide variety of petroleum products. The Energy Information Administration has a lovely “kids” themed page that provides a basic overview. There are also many lists of products derived from petroleum. Hell, commercial manufacturers can even feed it to you if the PPM is low enough. At least your Jell-O is green! Given its ubiquity, it’s easy to get an overwhelming feeling that oil has an inescapable death grip on our daily lives.

Saudi poverty is a growing economic trend. Why? With the United States shamelessly lounging in bed with OPEC, wealthy Saudis are living it up like tycoons toasting each other on the deck of the Titanic. It wasn’t until 2003 that they even acknowledged poverty as a problem in their country. And why should they even acknowledge it at all? They are still the world’s leading producer and exporter of oil, and their profits are still ballooning. There is clearly a vested interest in continuing to support an infrastructure that creates such vast wealth, despite any indication of its future decline. It’s probably why they’re spending so reasonably on defense. Now that Iraq has been “democratized“, we will likely see similar trends emerge there, as they join Saudi Arabia and Kuwait as our “friends” in the Middle East. And it’s only a matter of time before more than sanctions are required to deal with Iran. What is happening there today is a microcosm of what we can expect as global supplies of resources (not just oil) start to dwindle.

The situation is made ever more dire by specialization in the wake of globalization. Nobody knows how to do anything anymore. We’ve been trained to rely on authorities and specialists to resolve issues for us, or to simply discard and replace things when we deem it necessary. In this way, your average citizen has no idea how to recreate all the innovations of the Industrial Age. At best, one can account for only a minuscule part of the overall picture.

For example, when your car breaks down, you take it to be serviced. The person performing the service likely specializes in your particular type of vehicle (European import, Japanese import, etc). They’ve been trained by a person who also specializes in that particular type of vehicle (possibly in a specialized educational institution), and work in a business built around that specialization. When they need parts, they order them from a specialized vendor, who obtains parts from an approved manufacturer, who also specializes in those particular types of parts (ideally OEM – equipment directly from the vehicle’s manufacturer). Those manufacturers need raw materials – likely petrochemicals, rubber, plastics, etc. – which are supplied by refineries that specialize in extracting and processing them. Those refineries need crude oil, which is provided by a company that extracts it – often another subsidiary of a shared parent corporation.

In order to get your car back on the road, all of these players must have the knowledge, experience and materials necessary to perform their jobs. Infrastructure which completely depends on the presence of cheap, unlimited supplies of energy provided by crude oil. It would be impossible for an average person to cut out all of these middlemen, create the necessary parts from scratch and perform the service themselves.

We’ve been conditioned to take for granted that all the difficult things will be taken care of so that we can simply walk into any Walmart and buy whatever we need to continue on with our day. Often, the true cost of our modern lifestyle is not paid by the consumer. People complain of high prices at Whole Foods, for example, when the reality is that people should be complaining about the low prices at Walmart. Cheap, seemingly plentiful goods provide incentive to be wasteful, especially when those low prices are deceptive.  Government subsidies are provided to Walmart, the oil industry and the corn industry, leading to a vending machine mentality when it comes to our food supply. Why worry about eating well when you can buy a whole palette of ramen for $3? If those subsidies were removed and the ramen was suddenly $3 per ounce, behaviors would quickly change.

Apply this same method of thinking to the mass scales of food production, water processing, waste management, the power grid – it’s not hard to see just how little the average person could accomplish in an post-industrial scenario. In this context, it would only take a generation or two before all tasks dependent upon specialization would be seriously impaired, and likely a century (at most) before we would effectively become modern cavemen. What purpose would a periodontist serve when the world is no longer able to produce dental implants, mouthwash and so on?

2,996 lives were extinguished on that dark September day. From that moment forward, much of the energy surrounding 9/11 has been focused on assigning blame. It’s ultimately irrelevant what you choose to believe; whether poverty-stricken Middle Eastern men were roused into committing acts of terror on behalf of religious extremists or some vast conspiracy played out on the world stage to line the pockets of corporate interests and hand over power to politicians, the fact remains that a very real, very physical blow was dealt to the heart of both the financial sector and the military-industrial complex – the very things that lie at the center of our addiction to oil and hold us back from evolving to face the challenges of tomorrow. The significance of that has been lost in the noise, and in turn, so has the message. To that end, it bears repeating that we are all responsible for 9/11.

All the energy spent being pissed at Republicans, Democrats, Sunnis, Shiites, the rich, the poor, religious zealots, atheists, governments, terrorists and everything else named as a cause or effect of 9/11 doesn’t at all detract from the individual complicity in our choice to wake up every day and participate in this modern lifestyle of consumption and comfort. Without our demand for these things, one could even argue that 9/11 may never have happened. But rather than reflect upon our roles in society, we lash out at people who aren’t directly responsible for what we’re upset about and put as much effort into problem solving as we do into voting for contestants on some meaningless reality show.

We were the land of the free and the home of the brave. Today, we have the land of the victim, home of the willfully ignorant. One nation, under-informed, with tragic consequences for all. It’s time to rewrite our Declaration of Independence, lest we all become the new cavemen. For a mass of people to refer to themselves as the “United States” while at the same time facing some of the most deep division in the history of this nation is, plain and simple, ludicrous. Unity – true unity – is not just desirable, but necessary in order to ensure any sort of meaningful future for the planet, let alone the country. If our infrastructure were to collapse, your affiliations wouldn’t matter. Your net worth would be meaningless. Your possessions would become liabilities.

It’s up to us to accept personal responsibility – ownership – for this planet and its resources, and to make well-informed, thoughtfully considered decisions on how to exist within it. We must strive to work together, else we will die together. Conservation is only part of the picture. While riding a bike, recycling your soda cans, using CFLs and buying a hybrid are all wonderful ways to conserve, they result in hardly any impact when the same folks doing these things are so careless with all the other wasteful expenditures of the same natural resource. We need to rethink the paradigms of our everyday lives. Hard questions must be asked. It is no longer enough to simply care. We must do. The alternative? 2,996 lives is a tiny fraction of the death toll we would see as a result of our denial, pride or avarice. After 9 years of unnecessarily worrying about all the wrong -isms, it’s time to ask yourself; what can I do today to build a sustainable future for this planet?

The New Cavemen


Frank Shepard Fairey has made a very comfortable living marketing his brand of subversive, non-conformist art to the masses. The most common image associated with him is the iconic Andre The Giant “OBEY” graphic:


Fairey has credited the inspiration for this design as coming from the 1988 cult classic John Carpenter film, They Live.


The movie is more social commentary than a black comedy or horror film, though the concept is often lost on those viewing it. The clip below illustrates the gist of the premise:

The sunglasses represent an awakening, a moment of seeing things for what they really are, and, for the sake of popular commercial entertainment, the villains are these “alien” beings that have taken over. The truth is more sinister, as the scenario in the video above is not far from reality in our modern world. Our villains are not aliens with a clear agenda, but rather ourselves. The ability to wield power over others is not something innate and explicit. It is something that must be given away, and that is where the foundation of modern life lies: compliance and authority.


We are assaulted daily by rules, restrictions, statutes, laws and other ways in which we are impaired from enjoying true freedom. But most people fail to consider their complicity in this process, simply throwing their hands up and stating, “that’s just the way it is.” The color of a stoplight does not determine a vehicle’s capabilities, nor does it indicate whether or not an individual will or will not drive in a certain direction at a certain time. It’s a symbolic abstraction; we agree as a society that when the light is red, we will stop, and that when it is green, we will go. When someone deviates from this behavior, they are seen as crazy or reckless or rebellious. This is the basic idea behind compliance as it pertains to our world today.


Often, “lesser” offenses – jaywalking, parking in a handicapped space in order to quickly run inside a business, playing “dine and dash” (eating without paying), shoplifting inexpensive items (ex. a pack of gum), taking property from your place of employment, speeding, downloading media illegally – are judged as acceptable or tolerable ways to challenge authority, whereas more “serious” crimes – murder, rape, kidnapping, robbery, assault – are seen as unacceptable and worthy of harsh punishment. Why? Legally speaking, these things are on equal ground – there is a clear definition of what is and is not considered a violation of the given code, statute or law. What makes them different are the prevailing societal mores that provide us with context in which we feel comfortable judging the world that surrounds us.

Clearly, there is a difference between a teenager who is convicted of manslaughter when a gun he is playing with accidentally goes off, killing a friend, and a person who habitually and purposely shoplifts items worth $20 or less in value. Which one would have the harder life? Manslaughter is a felony, and the stigma attached to a moment of poor judgment will follow that person for the rest of their lives, coming up in job interviews, rental contracts, credit checks and all sorts of other places. The person who is a habitual shoplifter – and who clearly does not care to reform or change their behavior – would likely not face the same kind of stigma. In general, white collar crime is tolerated as part of “the way things are.” Embezzlement, taking advantage of bailouts, gaming the stock market – these things are not often met with the same outrage.


Ultimately, these types of judgments can be traced back to the idea of compliance as it applies to current societal standards. There was a point where being an athiest could get you hung or burned at the stake, but with the Gen-X/Gen-Y crowd, it is very common. Not too long ago, admitting to homosexuality would get you fired, beaten, or worse – but now, there is a massive push for popular acceptance and validation of it. These things have fallen into vogue, making it easier for Richard Dawkins and Perez Hilton to exist and flourish in a world where, just a century before, they would have been targets of a witch hunt. It doesn’t matter whether atheism or homosexuality is “right” or “wrong” (despite the wealth of arguments about them), it matters whether or not it is agreed upon that these things comply with the collective opinion of what is acceptable for our society. But let’s face it – fear of being seen as non-compliant drives us more than a desire to be compliant.

So, for the most part, we stop at red lights. We pull over to the side of the road when an emergency vehicle is approaching. We pay our taxes. We do these things because we submit ourselves to the authority we’ve granted others in order to govern us. We exchange our true freedom for the relative comfort of what we perceive as a stable and just society. But what is authority, anyway? On the most basic level, authority is legitimacy and expertise, the state of having some sort of prestige in a given context. This status is not something inherent in an individual, but rather something that is granted to them. As more people agree to acknowledge the authority granted to someone, the more it is legitimized and accepted as true.


It’s obvious the kind of power and responsibility that is granted to what we typically conceive of as an authority: governments, military bodies, global organizations such as NATO and WTO. Their influence is often direct and easily measured. When a war is declared, when disaster hits, when assistance is needed, society as a whole entrusts these organizations to exercise their authority with the best judgment. We rally behind troops, we donate money, we send our thoughts and prayers, but we ultimately rely on someone else to do what is necessary to achieve a desired goal or outcome.


Often, we place a lot of trust in authority figures despite continual evidence that our faith is misguided. In the past year, there has been a lot of attention in the news to product recalls for spinach, peanuts, tomatoes, jalapeños and the over-the-counter nutritional supplement Hydroxycut. All of these products fall under the authority of the Food & Drug Administration, who maintain an active list of product recalls. It’s quite long, and many of the recalls issued are quite terrifying. There are mentions of undeclared ingredients, labeling mistakes and the presence of salmonella, E. coli and other contaminants. Some of these can be fatal – e.g. a product which contains nuts, or has been processed in a facility that also processes nuts fails to state this fact on the label. Often, these recalls are only discovered once worst case scenarios begin to unfold (i.e. a body count) – as was the case with the massive peanut recall that led to a wide variety of products being recalled earlier this year.

Peanut Recall

There is no one single individual to be held to account for food safety at the FDA or anywhere else at the federal level. – Rep. Rosa DeLauro

It took 4 days after salmonella was discovered in the supply of Peanut Corporation of America’s supply before action was taken to recall products. Even then, as we waited with bated breath, an ever-increasing list of products were recalled over the span of this past year, with constantly-changing information about what we could consider “safe.” But in all of this, few people were wondering why we continue to allow ourselves to place faith in such a plainly irresponsible authority. PCA took the fall, driven out of business despite the fact that their shady practices and corner-cutting, profit-chasing greed was made possible by the very authority we believe will keep us safe from harm.

Messiah complex

Religion is another authority that is widely relied upon as a source of comfort and security. It’s arguably the most polarizing authority there is, though the level of passion and activism varies wildly from religion to religion, and even from church to church within the same religion. What is truly interesting about this authority is that much power, responsibility and energy has been given over without any obvious justification for it. 2,000 years ago, some events occurred, a number of men retold their versions of those events, and here you have a continual dedication and fanaticism based around the belief that the things described in a book are indeed fact – nay, divine truth – that cannot and should not be questioned.

But why should witnessing a burning bush be seen as miraculous? There are a number of natural hallucinogens that could explain away this phenomenon. In fact, this theory has been researched in detail. If such a thing were to happen today, most would joke that the person experiencing such a thing must be high. What of a person who is dead miraculously rising from the grave? Criss Angel’s Mindfreak is a highly-rated show dedicated to “miraculous” feats of human will. What would have been something of biblical importance 2,000 years ago is merely popular entertainment today. Contextual perception.

Optical illusion

The elephant in the room with much religious dogma is that, while many logical and measured arguments could be made to dispute or rebut whole passages of religious text, one simply is assured that by their continued faith, they will ultimately be rewarded. Again, no proof or evidence of the rewards exist in the tangible world, and not a single person has come back from a state of death to attest to the presence of a true afterlife. It’s all conjecture. Every religious text is ultimately weakened by the same exact flaw: they are the words of men, written by mere humans. Subject to the same flawed, subjective experiential shortcomings that we experience today. Love, fear, anger, arousal, mind-altering substances – all things that can affect one’s perception of reality and all potential sources of confusion or distortion. Two different people could see two completely different things.

Westboro Baptist Church

Still, authority is granted to religious texts. Despite the fact that few men would sever their wife’s hand if she were to touch his assailant’s penis. Or shun a man for sleeping with a woman while she’s on her period. Or murder men who have slept with each other. Or murder nonbelievers. Selective tolerance of religious mores is no different than selective tolerance of societal mores. We jaywalk and we sleep with our girlfriends or wives while they’re menstruating. These are looked upon as “lesser” offenses and perfectly acceptable. But what’s the point of granting authority if you practice selective compliance? Why recognize the authority at all? Religious fundamentalists are often regarded as crazy or fanatical, but they are recognizing the exact same authority that millions of people do, only in a far more passionate and strident way.


Ultimately, though, consumerism and mass media are probably the most sinister form of authority. Where overt authorities like governments and religions are making clear grabs for power with (mostly) obvious intentions, mass marketing corporations and media do everything they can to obscure their motives. Marketing agencies work diligently to build brand trust with consumers. Child psychologists are recruited in order to more effectively take advantage of developmental weaknesses that can be exploited for profit. Celebrities and other public figures are paid to create a buzz around a brand and to attach their perceived positive qualities to a product.

Tiger Woods

When we see Tiger Woods wearing a Nike hat, we are being conditioned to associate a brand with a proven history of human rights violations and child labor with a person who seems like an infallible hero, an underdog, an untarnished pillar of achievement. We trust Nike. We associate good feelings with their brand. And it all operates on a purely subconscious and devious level. Misdirection. We don’t see Tiger Woods’ contract. We don’t see the hat get produced. We don’t see where the money comes from and where it’s spent. We only see the story they’ve carefully concocted to sell a brand.

Name brands have taken over our language, too. When our noses run, we ask for a Kleenex. When something happens that’s worth remembering, it’s a Kodak moment. Don’t know the answer to something? Google it. These are authorities working on an entirely different level, because rather than a conscious participation, they rely on us to personalize their form of authority so we no longer even consider an alternative – to ask for a tissue, to take a photograph, to search the internet. It becomes second nature to think in terms of their authority as the dominant brand in their industry.

Juicy Couture

As a world ravaged by the Great Depression and World War II struggled to rebuild a life in the ashes of their ancestors, the blind optimism of the 50’s ushered in a new wave of mass consumption that has lived on for over 5 decades without any sign of slowing down. What many religious zealots credit as the decline or downfall of our society is merely a case of switching one authority for another. Where in the 1940’s, governments were at war and faith was tested, the 1950’s brought a desire to indulge and escape recent events through wholesome, positive fun. A whole generation of “baby boomers” grew to represent the rosy outlook of the time, where people were encouraged to live it up and chase “the American Dream.” Consume for the sake of consuming, because you can, because you’ve earned it after surviving through such tragedy over the past few decades. So we began to entrust our happiness and well-being to a new authority; mass consumerism.

Girls mindlessly flip through issues of Cosmo, quizzing themselves on their sexual prowess. Guys pore over the pages of Maxim, hoping to catch a glimpse of Megan Fox or Scarlett Johansson in some state of undress. Parents park their children in front of the TV, trusting the Disney Channel to provide appropriate distractions. VH1 approves another season of Charm School, knowing that it’s a guilty pleasure for a growing number of people. These things become part of our daily routine, to fill up the time and help distract or entertain us and get us through the day. But our consumption of these products is ultimately another form of compliance, of submission to a form of authority that we likely don’t realize is there, or that we actively deny, claiming it has no effect on us.

Durex ad

When the editors of Cosmo put together an issue, the articles and photos are not chosen and placed at random. There’s a reason you’ll find sexually charged and visually appealing ads for condoms on the page adjacent to a comparatively plain-looking, text-heavy article about “what he really wants in the bedroom… but isn’t telling you.” The article is meant to draw your initial attention, but the true purpose is to put your eyeballs in front of that ad, which, in context, is far more appealing than the article you originally picked up the magazine to read. You tell yourself you’re not influenced by it and that you can look at it without it affecting you, but the next time you’re in need and you find yourself shopping for condoms, you discover an inexplicable urge to choose Durex….


There are plenty of other forms of compliance and authority that we take for granted. As someone who has never been to college, I know first-hand that people look at you differently when they discover you aren’t college educated. It can affect your social and professional standing, your credit, your employment, your residential opportunities, and more. Yet, at the same time, I personally know a number of people who either cheated their way through school (as much as was possible) or chose to pursue majors that they had no actual interest in, simply because the coursework would be expedient, allowing them to get a degree with minimal effort.

The focus on having these degrees has reached such a high level of importance that parents are enrolling their children in college prep programs as early as 5th or 6th grade, expecting that they will have a competitive advantage to get into the best schools. Yet if the degree itself holds very little actual value in its real world application, then why surrender to the authority of higher education in the first place? As a patient comparing two doctors, will a degree indicate which doctor cut corners in pursuit of wealth and which followed a passion to help others? As a voter, will a degree help distinguish the candidate out to establish power and influence from the candidate who truly wants to improve their community?


Barack Obama is a Democrat and a Columbia- and Harvard-educated lawyer. He’s also the President of the United States. The first black President. A Christian. Millionaire. A brand name. And one of the most eminent authorities in the world today. It’s no mistake that Shepard Fairey was behind the iconic portrait plastered everywhere during the 2008 election. Obama was/is a master of the personal brand (with plenty of calculated guidance from David Axelrod and crew). Delivering the idea and the image in an easily-digestible and memorable way, but without seeming intentionally focused on style over substance.


Hitler was also a master at the personal brand. The bold stylistic choices made in Nazi propaganda and decoration were no accident. Careful consideration was given to the adoption of the swastika symbol, flipping it around counter-clockwise, placing it within a white disc on a red background. The size of the disc and the thickness of the lines in the swastika were deliberate choices made to achieve a desired effect. Long before the Holocaust and the truth of the Reichstag fire were a matter of public record, Adolf Hitler represented one simple thing to the battered people of Germany, frustrated with their post-World War I struggles, eager to see a strong Germany rise again to prominence: hope. He recognized and manipulated this desire within the people to be led, to submit to an authority greater than themselves. Given this context, it’s no surprise that Obama has been compared so often to Hitler (no matter how misguided that comparison may be).

Ultimately, compliance and submission to authority represent a conscious choice within each individual to trade personal responsibility and true freedom for comfort and security. When this choice is made, the individual often chooses to view the choice as something external, a decision that has been made for them. There is an increasing trend in modern society to assume the role of a victim actively seeking the archetypal savior. A submission of will to a figure of authority is often seen as the answer to a problem deemed too large to fix by ourselves. “Let go, let God.” “Support our troops.” “You’re in good hands with Allstate.”

Marduk & Tiamat

These archetypes continue to exist because there is a conflict within each individual when presented with the choice of personal responsibility. We are conditioned to put our trust and faith in these authority figures and to comply with their demands or expectations. We consciously – and subconsciously – use these authorities to judge others’ abilities, intentions and potential. But governments, religions, businesses, institutions and organizations have all risen and fallen, time and again. Whether incorrect, ineffective or irrelevant, most forms of authority eventually outlive their usefulness. Yet instead of a change in the collective approach to personal responsibility, more often than not, a new authority is sought or created to fill the need for the savior, the father figure, the protector.

Question authority

Think for yourself and question authority.” It’s been said many times by many people, but few truly understand the full power of this statement. Even this blog post should be questioned. Information is not inherently good or bad, right or wrong. Information is just data; it’s all in how it’s processed by each individual mind, and the only way to truly control that process is to accept personal responsibility and grant yourself authority over your own world.


Aedes Saturnus


It is often said that every 30 years of your life, you experience a “Saturn return.”  This is because Saturn’s orbit around the sun takes approximately 29.5 years.  What it typically represents is a time of great upheaval and change.

In astrology, Saturn represents a number of things.  But one thing Saturn represents that tends to resonate most with those experiencing a Saturn return is the enforcement of law, or restrictions.

Saturn, therefore, represents our limitations in power and control, in confinement or isolation and capacity. Taking all this into consideration, it is no wonder we face difficulty when attempting to transform Saturn from a controlling force to a teaching force because we encounter all our limitations in every aspect of our lives.


Teachers are often thought of as the people who lead a classroom full of students in the acquisition of new knowledge.  In the American system of education, at least, this is often a simple case of indoctrination.  In order to achieve particular goals or career paths, there are certain things you must know, and there is a way that this information must be delivered to you.  Therefore, what we often conceive of as education is really an attempt at social control through reinforcing standards.

There are opportunities to learn everywhere in life. Anyone can be a teacher and anything can be a curriculum. Many of my teachers have been artists, musicians, actors, friends, family, strangers. The difference between knowledge and wisdom often lies in who your teachers are rather than what you’re being taught.


The band Tool is an amazing group that blends superb musicianship, higher consciousness, emotional maturity and a dry sense of humor into something that no other artist can replicate – though many have tried. I refer to them as my “left brain” band – the part of the brain associated with logic and analysis. Much of my passion for learning is derived from influences such as these.

In 2001, Tool released an album, Lateralus, which dealt with this topic in particular, in the opening track, “The Grudge.”

Wear your grudge like a crown of negativity.
Calculate what we will or will not tolerate.
Desperate to control all and everything.
Unable to forgive your scarlet lettermen.

Clutch it like a cornerstone, otherwise it all comes down.
Justify denials and grip it to the lonesome end.
Clutch it like a cornerstone, otherwise it all comes down.
Terrified of being wrong. Ultimatum prison cell.

Saturn ascends, choose one or ten.
Hang on or be humbled again.

Clutch it like a cornerstone. otherwise it all comes down.
Justify denials and grip it to the lonesome end.
Saturn ascends, comes round again.
Saturn ascends, the one, the ten.
Ignorant to the damage done.

Wear your grudge like a crown of negativity.
Calculate what you will or will not tolerate.
Desperate to control all and everything.
Unable to forgive your scarlet lettermen.

Wear the grudge like a crown. Desperate to control.
Unable to forgive, and we’re sinking deeper.

Defining, confining, sinking deeper.
Controlling, defining, and we’re sinking deeper.

Saturn comes back around to show you everything
Lets you choose what you will or will not see and then
Drags you down like a stone or lifts you up again
Spits you out like a child, light and innocent.

Saturn comes back around. Lifts you up like a child or
Drags you down like a stone to
Consume you ’til you choose to let this go.
Choose to let this go.

Give away the stone.
Let the oceans take and transmutate this cold and fated anchor.
Give away the stone.
Let the waters kiss and transmutate these leaden grudges into gold.

Let go.

The song is quite powerful and has a very strong message behind it. It has resonated with me since the album was first released, but I find myself listening to it more and more these days. Letting go is part of the mythology of the Saturn return, to fully embrace the possibilities of life and question your own beliefs and values. But it’s far more difficult to let go of things than to desperately cling to what is easy or perceived to be working. Often, this only prolongs the eventual pain that we feel when we experience the upheaval of a life-altering event or moment. I believe you should always be asking why. “Why am I experiencing this emotion?” “Why am I preoccupied with this thought?” “Why am I choosing to react in this manner?” Otherwise, we are doomed to repeat the same cycles of behavior in our lives without ever growing or evolving.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. – Albert Einstein

Too often, we are terrified of change and self-reflection, so many of those fears become our weapons that we project onto others.  We are self-conscious about our looks, so we judge others for theirs (e.g. Perez Hilton, et al).  We are insecure about our bodies so we overcompensate with external things (e.g. plastic surgery or ego-driven machismo).  We are threatened by intimacy, so we mistreat or push away those we feel closest to.  We are such predictable creatures, but will do almost anything in our power to avoid attaining this knowledge. They don’t teach these things in school, so most of us simply don’t know how to.


Dredg is what I often call my “right brain” band – the part of the brain associated with emotion and intuition. While they are every bit as intelligent and talented as Tool, no band can make me feel quite the way that Dredg can. Many of their songs give me goosebumps or make me well up a little bit when listening to them, no matter how many times I’ve heard them. One such song is “Bug Eyes.”

Bring back those good ol’ days
Nothing feels right, nothing ever goes my way
I threw my future away
Now I walk alone out here in the cold, wandering astray
Where’s my future?
I’m gonna need a home
You’d expect the same, now wouldn’t you, wouldn’t you?

Your journey back to birth is haunting you, it’s haunting you
Your departure from the earth is haunting you, it’s haunting you

Only those who accept will find that acceptance in return
We have been trimmed down like hedges,
And told just to sit, and wilt, and spit at each other from a distance
There is constant resistance from you
I’m gonna need a home
You’d expect the same now wouldn’t you, wouldn’t you?

Your journey back to birth is haunting you, it’s haunting you
Your departure from the earth is haunting you, it’s haunting you

It’s been ten years strong, that’s much too long
It’s time to do something good for my health
Time to do something good for myself
I’ve wasted all this time, I’ve wasted all this time

Your journey back to birth is haunting you, it’s haunting you
You departure from the earth is haunting you, it’s haunting you

Another powerful song, but in an entirely different way. While Tool offers a logical and analytical approach to the Saturn return, Dredg issues an emotional and intuitive plea – life is too short to waste it living out of sync with each other and the world around us.  Chasing after an uncertain future, amassing wealth and property, with faith in the unknown (and unknowable), consuming without concern for our environment and gratifying our ego every chance we get – this is not a way to live. This is a life completely out of balance.


The above image is taken from the breathtaking film Koyaanisqatsi – a Hopi word that means “crazy life, life in turmoil, life out of balance, life disintegrating, a state of life that calls for another way of living.” In the film, human life, technology and nature are juxtaposed, often in jarring ways, to illustrate the effect that modern society has had on the planet.  While human development as a whole has carved its path on the earth, each of us as individuals have taken to discovering our own niche within that world, often at odds with ourselves and each other, in pursuit of some elusive destination. In this image, a skyscraper – indeed, a monument that serves mainly to gratify our ego as a species, as well as destroy an otherwise pristine view of the heavens – is placed next to a bright, full moon, awe-inspiring in its simple beauty and grandeur. Two of mankind’s greatest achievements, side by side, which are also simultaneously two of mankind’s failures. Our planet is polluted with these skeletal monstrosities pointing upwards at a celestial body that has been littered with trash by those lucky enough to have experienced it firsthand.

But have we learned our lesson?  Will Saturn teach us something or will we ignore our chances to evolve?  This choice resides in each and every one of us, and on the eve of my 30th birthday, it has become clear to me that the evolution has already happened within me. I am no longer the person most people have come to perceive as “Erik.”

A few years ago, I got a tattoo on my left ankle of the Dredg logo:


The symbol is a derivation of the Chinese symbols for “change” and “chameleon.”  As I believe that constant open-mindedness and willingness to change are an important component of how I live my life, this was a perfect fit for the first thing I’d want permanently inked on my body – a way for me to refuse to let myself become too complacent or too fearful in life.

Now is another occasion where it is necessary to burn down the ruins and build a new monument out of the ashes. To reboot the system. To change the channel.


Aedes Saturnus

The Suicidal Pornography of Voyeurism

We have created a culture in which distractions have taken primary focus. The purpose they serve is clear; to distract us from remembering the fact that one day, no matter the wealth, circumstance or favor we may enjoy in our lives, all of us will die.

So we watch.

After less than a century of television’s existence, it has fully embedded itself into our daily lives, becoming an integral part of most American homes. Building on its’ success, TiVo has revolutionized what was thought by many to be a dying technology. No more worrying about setting VCR times, buying tapes, or even having to be awake to watch something. Via our 24/7 multi-satellite and multi-cable connections, we can record hours and hours of shows to watch, and the networks have been more than happy to adapt by replaying most of their popular programs in different time slots and on sister networks to ensure that you will never have to miss a thing (for example, the recent season finale of Rock Of Love: Charm School was replayed more than 20 times on Viacom’s channels during the week it was aired). In the past 10 years, reality TV has exploded, with hundreds of shows catering to almost every possible niche of popular culture. This year, almost as many people voted for the winner of American Idol as voted for the President of the United States. Since CNN started the trend, 24 hour news has given us stories that would never have received mainstream attention before, leading to more news creation and less news reporting. Constant streams of information, always something to watch, always something happening.

Innovation in the tech industry of the 90’s led to the generation of a consumption-based economy on the internet. Prior to the late 90’s, the internet was mostly used by the government, students, teachers and professionals in order to achieve specific aims. Email and IM were popular, but not prevalent. Even at its height, the internet as many of us knew it back then was still something only middle class nerds were fooling around with. LiveJournal and Friendster ushered in the concept of social networking, but it was MySpace that truly launched the idea into the mass market. Facebook, LinkedIn, Bebo, Hi5, Orkut and many others have all had various levels of success. Just as with reality TV, it appears that there is a service for every possible niche. Countless ways to connect your life with the global network around you. Constant streams of information, always something to watch, always something happening.

There was a time when cameras were bulky and expensive, limiting their use mainly to the wealthy mavens of Hollywood and highly skilled professional photographers. In the past decade especially, this once unreachable medium has become available and affordable to nearly everyone. Digital cameras and camcorders are cheap, and in many cases, embedded in other common products such as cellphones and laptop computers. Where social networking has created a place to interact, social media became the companion piece; a way to visually document our lives, to share it with others. The success of Flickr and YouTube – as well as of all the clones to follow in their wake – has given rise to an even richer experience, a more effective method of engaging others. To ensure that you never miss a thing, you can subscribe to customized RSS feeds of all your favorite sources of information, no matter what form it takes. Constant streams of information, always something to watch, always something happening.

With internet connection speeds increasing exponentially in the past decade, it’s now possible to stream high definition video, audio and pictures almost instantaneously. Gone are the days of waiting minutes or hours for relatively small files to download, in its place the immediate gratification of always-on, instant data. Cell phone popularization in the past 10 years has transformed mobile phone use from a luxury into a near-indispensable commodity, bringing this instantaneous data streaming device to even those without any truly disposable income. Not only have the devices become more common, but the networks hosting them have become far more complex, evolving from dicey basic phone reception to full-featured internet access. In the age of Blackberries and iPhones, you never have to be more than a touch away from all the world has to offer. Constant streams of information, always something to watch, always something happening.

So where does all of this leave us? More on that in a bit. First, let’s take a break to explore a tangent.

Andrea Dworkin is infamous for popularizing the idea that pornography has been responsible for an increase in rape and violence against women. In her book, Pornography – Men Possessing Women, she attacks the adult industry for its use of violence and degradation in order to sell a product – mainly the idea of a male-dominated world in which women functioned as on-demand fantasy-fulfilling submissives. Granted, Dworkin was a staunch feminist, but there is some truth in the arguments she made. Much of her criticism of pornography was written in the 1980’s, and in the quarter century since, many phenomena have occurred not only to support her arguments, but to surpass what were probably her worst fears motivating her to speak out in the first place.

The adoption of the internet as an indispensable component of our daily lives brought with it an inevitable eventuality; a massive explosion of the interest in – and consumption of – pornography. As the tools became available to us to sequester ourselves in a room, alone, with no fear of judgment, and to gather discreetly with others with a common shared interest, every possible sexual indulgence and fetish became not only possible, but probable. Gonzo. Scat. Water sports. The 2 Girls, 1 Cup video went viral. Jokes about a Dirty Sanchez, Donkey Punch and Cleveland Steamer are all present in recent blockbuster (i.e. mainstream) comedies. Pornography has become acceptable and even perhaps encouraged in modern society. There are elements of it present in all of the media mentioned earlier; Tila Tequila takes “A Shot At Love” by making out with attractive men and women in a hot tub, the “MySpace whores” of the younger generation post scantily clad pictures and videos of themselves dancing seductively on their profiles and ads appear on late night TV with some breathy siren imploring you to text her in order to get in on an all-night text party that’s happening somewhere at this very moment.

Female seduction has become less about the mystery of a woman and rather about sexual violence. Nowadays there is seemingly no end to the sacrifices women will make to be seen as sexually desirable, from painful and irreversible plastic surgery procedures to LUG/BUG experimentation to the types of pornography listed above. Interestingly enough, these phenomena are not common in homosexual, lesbian or other types of pornography, which seem geared more towards -philia, or “the love of” their chosen subject, rather than the desecration of it. Certainly this is an extension of the Biblical concept of wives submitting to their husband’s authority. When a woman is seen with a group of men ejaculating on her face, or being defecated upon, or urinated upon, or beaten, choked or pretending to be raped, it is seen as arousing and even acceptable by an increasing number of people. Yet pictures of a child clothed in underwear (not nude) will get you jail time. It’s not that child pornography should ever be considered acceptable. The more pertinent question is, why are we so indifferent to the types of self-degradation women are allowed to experience for the enjoyment of the public at large? Aren’t all of us equally deserving of respect and dignity? One of the top searches on Google is “Bang Bus” (and has been ever since the site’s inception). The entire premise of that website is that a woman in distress is picked up off the street, offered money in exchange for sex, then is dropped off in an unknown area with a laugh, money thrown at her feet. Whether it is real or scripted is irrelevant. The human mind reacts to stimuli whether it is actual or perceived, and it is not hard to see how something like the Bang Bus could be perceived as society’s acceptance (and perhaps encouragement) of bargaining away your self-worth in exchange for transient things like money and fame.

So how is this tangent relevant to the initial point?

What has happened in the pornographic industry certainly speaks to Dworkin’s perspective of its effect on how women are treated, but I believe that she was diagnosing a symptom of a much larger problem. This tendency of humankind to watch no matter what the cost to others and to ourselves has been mirrored in much of modern life. “MySpace whores” will do anything for attention – lying about their age, taking pictures from flattering angles, flirting with strangers – hoping that someone will value them in ways that they have not been able to value themselves. They put videos up on YouTube, sometimes embarrassing and exposing themselves in the moment without fully realizing the potential consequences. Pictures of people getting drunk and high at last night’s party are posted on publicly-viewable profiles for the world to see. Status updates are sent across social networking sites to keep everyone informed of the latest adventures and drama in your life. More often than not, people are willing to go to great lengths to be noticed, and we are willing to go to great depths in order to watch them.

George W. Bush made many mistakes as President (and will certainly be remembered for them), but chances are that more people watched a shoe being thrown at him than watched any of his State Of The Union addresses (i.e. his job). While the man performed poorly in office, there is a basic human dignity that is lacking in seeing something like that replayed time and again. We enjoy watching the mighty fall. Britney Spears, bald, wielding an umbrella, pushed to a breaking point. Lindsay Lohan passed out drunk in the passenger seat. Paris Hilton giving a mediocre blowjob. Celebrity Rehab. The Smoking Gun. Our world no longer has a flag being raised at Iwo Jima. No Alberto Korda documenting the steely resolve of Che Guevara. The memorable images of our time are not important historical moments that happened to be captured. Instead, we are left with photo ops that are created for the sole purpose of public opinion manipulation (insert “Mission Accomplished” banner here), moments of catastrophe and failure which are replayed ad infinitum (9/11 anyone?), embarrassment (the celebrities mentioned above) and quite frankly, the majority of these images exist merely for our own enjoyment, to re-watch and re-live at our leisure. While it may not be acceptable to masturbate to a plane flying into the World Trade Center, there is a part of us that sees it as being no different than a Michael Bay movie; tantalizing action sequences that get your adrenaline pumping. We forget about the people dying in front of our eyes. We are desensitized by the very act of watching. We forget that these people are as human as we are, with hopes, dreams, families, friends, colleagues.

But these are big, heady ideas and hardly relevant to your life, right? Well…

Imagine the last time your child was in a pageant or play. Were you watching them perform, or were you recording it? You go to a concert to see your favorite band play. Are you updating your Twitter, Facebook and MySpace statuses, submitting mobile photos and videos taken on your cameraphone, or are you watching the band play? You’re in mixed company and there’s an awkward silence or lull in the conversation. Do you try and discover new and interesting things about the people you’re with, or do you play on your Blackberry or iPhone? You’re on vacation, maybe even your honeymoon. Do you shut your phone off, or do you keep it by your side at all times?

These are walls; barriers to existence. We all have 5 physical senses in which we experience the world, in which we are able to absorb data for our minds to process. The thought of losing any one of those senses is be unbearable for many of us, yet when was the last time you’ve really seen someone, heard them, smelled them, touched them, even tasted them? There is a delicate beauty that runs through much of the life on this planet, which is what the old adage “stop and smell the roses” is all about. But we are all conditioned to believe that we are missing out on something. There’s always that constant stream of information, always something to watch, always something happening. But very few of us actually require constant contact and notification (think: doctors). So when I am having coffee with a friend, something inside them forces the need to know exactly what is going on, even if it’s just a notification that a friend has “poked” them. In the physical world, they don’t look at me, they don’t hear me and they don’t touch me, as those senses are all dulled and distracted by the act of watching something else. Usually I have half their attention and find myself often needing to repeat what I’ve said.

It may seem a stretch to compare violent pornography to being poked on Facebook, but ultimately, the idea is that there is less appreciation for the humanity and beauty in this world because of the things we choose to watch, and to a lesser extent, participate in. It’s not about the morality of one thing vs. another, it’s not about the severity of one act vs. another. In all the behavior mentioned here, there is a subtle murder, a subtle suicide happening. Not a direct and final one, to be sure – nobody is actually dying from reading TMZ. But we all have a finite amount of time on this planet and absolutely no idea when it will end. The next time you are in the presence of someone you love, it may be the last time you see them. This is an uncomfortable truth we collectively ignore. But really, does anyone on this planet want to die wondering if they were truly cared for? If someone close to you were to die and you passed up an opportunity to see them in order to stay at home and catch up on Perez Hilton, would it be one of your haunting regrets in life?

If you’re ever in my presence and you hear my cell phone ring, maybe you will now understand why I ignore it.

The Suicidal Pornography of Voyeurism

Chernobyl Children’s Project International

For those who know me, you are aware that I don’t really do Christmas, but some still insist on getting me things I don’t really want or need. Please, consider donating to Chernobyl Children’s Project International (CCPI) instead. I’m trying to raise $300 – the cost of a single Gore-Tex heart patch used in the life-saving operations performed on children with “Chernobyl Heart.” It’s not much – the cost of the full operation to save just one child is $1,500 – but it’s a good start. You can see pictures of some of the children who have had this surgery here.

UPDATE: The pledge to raise $300 was successful. In less than 6 months, we’ve more than doubled the amount of money raised through the Facebook application, but the journey doesn’t end here. Please feel free to continue donating as often – and as generously – as you can.

Take some time to watch this clip from the HBO documentary Chernobyl Heart to get a better understanding of why this inspires me to action. In the years since I’ve seen it, many of the stories and images still haunt me. If you are interested, there is a link below the video to the full 39-minute documentary.

Full 39-minute HBO documentary Chernobyl Heart

Here’s a promotional video put together by CCPI that explains what they do:

Lastly, a photo essay, Chernobyl Legacy by Paul Fusco, may be viewed by clicking this photo:


My buddy Shawn graciously started off my fundraising pledge with a $25 donation and a blog post about it, so great kudos to him for helping to raise money and spread the word.

If you are interested in learning more about what happened in Chernobyl, the Wikipedia page is good for a general overview, and has more in-depth information. I’d also highly recommend looking at the photo essay done in 2004 by a woman who calls herself Kidd Of Speed (real name Elena Filatova); it shows what a desolate wasteland Chernobyl remains today. There are similar photographs in the gallery at Chernobyl 20, an exhibit dedicated to showing the lasting effects of what happened. A news article from 2006 investigates whether more disaster is possible at the Chernobyl site. More recently, studies have shown that the effects of Chernobyl are worse than originally thought, causing mutations in the wildlife that roams free in the contaminated area.


This is entirely a man-made disaster. Human effort built the reactor. Human error was responsible for the failure. Human shame and greed covered up what really happened and human ignorance and apathy have contributed to the continuing problems that exist today, over 20 years since the event. Please help spread the word and make this small difference in our world. These children never asked to have these health problems, nor were they given a fair chance by the government and citizens who were supposed to help protect them.

What you can do:

But most importantly, you can donate to the cause. Many charities and non-profits which receive mainstream attention, sexy celebrity endorsements, telethons, commercials and documentaries have massive budgets and can afford to make a major difference in the world. CCPI does not have this luxury, so whatever you can do to raise funds and awareness is greatly, greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time and attention.

Chernobyl Children’s Project International